Our Foster to Adoption Journey

Like all journeys, our path has been filled with highs and lows.  When we started this journey, I really expected it to be quick, easy and painless.  What we’ve experienced has been a little different.  Not bad, not worse, just different.

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As soon as we were licensed in April 2011 I thought we would get a placement right away.  I raced to the phone every time it rang only to be disappointed again and again.  Our first placement was in October 2011, for a newborn baby girl who was to be placed out for adoption through CHS.  We had a week of baby snuggles, sighs, gassy grins and that sweet baby smell.  When the time came I placed her in her adoptive mother’s arms and watched in wonder as a family was made.

Most of our first placements were through CHS, which meant we were not eligible to adopt the children.  Knowing that these tiny babes were going to families who had wanted and prayed for them made it much easier as we said good bye again and again.  We were still waiting for a state placement which we would be able to adopt.

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In February of this year our CHS case worker called with a baby girl referral.  It was a DCP&P {state} case, and looked to be heading quickly towards adoption.  The birth father wasn’t interested, the birth mom was a mess – it was only a matter of time before they fell apart and the case went to adoption.  We brought Baby J home from the NICU on February 7th.  It quickly became apparent that while the birth parents were less than stellar individuals, they were complying with everything the courts were asking them to do.  Last month Baby J’s case worker pulled me aside and told me that the case would be heading to reunification with the birth parents, instead of adoption.  We were heart broken.  We are all in love with Baby J, and the feeling is quite mutual. While we pray each day that we will be able to become her forever family, we are trusting in God’s plan for her and for us.

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On July 30th we received another call from our CHS caseworker.  This time the DCP&P referral was for a baby boy.  We were ready to refuse the referral – they needed an answer in 24 hours, he had some severe medical needs, all visitation/office visits would be at least a 2 hour round trip drive….things just weren’t lining up.  And we just weren’t ready to give our hearts to another baby, only to lose him as well.  As I was ready to call to decline the referral, our case worker called again.  Basically this little guy came gift wrapped for us.  All the loose ends were tied up, CHS and DCP&P were jumping through hoops to get this baby into our home, and it turned out that the original medical report was incorrect.

On August 1st Baby S joined our household.  His situation is a little different from Baby J’s, and according to his case worker from DCP&P there is no reason why he won’t become available for adoption soon.  We are loving on this little babe and praying that he might be joining our forever family.

Since we haven’t traveled the path of international or domestic adoption I can’t compare them.  I can tell you that there are thousands of children free for adoption through the foster care system – and so many are aging out of the system before they can find a family.  If finances are a concern, I would urge you to check with your local DCP&P office and see what the requirements are.  In many cases the cost for adoption is minimal, the children stay on Medicaid and they receive a monthly stipend from the state until they age out at 18 years old.

What questions do you have about fostering or adoption?  Have you looked into foster care?

Tomorrow I’ll be talking about homeschooling with a foster child.

Comments

  1. Am just loving reading how your decision to follow this path has impacted your life – and those of the precious children you’ve touched! May God bring glory to Himself and continued blessings in your lives in the days to come!

    • This has been a God journey for sure, Tracey. There is no way we would be able to do this without His abiding grace!

  2. OH, how my heart goes out to you. The highs and lows – the desire for what’s best for each baby while you pour your heart out!

  3. I’m so glad you are sharing your story. I can’t imagine the emotional ups and downs. I’ll be praying for everyone involved in Baby J’s situation, and that you’ll know something SOON about Baby S!

  4. eeks so excited to see what God has in store for you buys and baby S! Love sweet little baby fingers! I am also really enjoying reading this series! Keep up the great work!

  5. Praying for you, friend! I am really enjoying reading your series. :-)

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