I was in 7th grade the first time I realized what it meant to be rejected.
I went to a small elementary school {I had 20 kids in my class} and everyone knew everyone else. I wasn’t popular, but I had a core group of friends who I grew to trust. But every now and then I wanted to be one of the popular girls. There was one girl in particular who seemed to have it all together. She had perfect hair, great clothes, teachers loved her, etc. I wanted so badly to become one of her friends.
One day I got a note from her in class! I was so excited that the most popular girl would acknowledge me. With shaking fingers I opened the note and while I can’t recall the exact wording, it went something like this….
“if you want to be my friend, you have to get rid of these friends first……” and she went on to list 3 of my friend’s names. I was totally taken aback, but I wanted to fit in so badly that I said I would.
On a dreary day in the school library I told my 3 friends that I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore….and then I walked over to where the popular kids sat, holding court and waited to be granted the *popular* title that I wanted so badly.
It turned out that I was the subject of a bet between my friends and the popular kids – and they were all in on it together to see what I would do. I can still remember those jeering faces and the laughter as I ran out of the room in tears.
Rejection hurts. There’s no way around it. That prank that was pulled so long ago still haunts some of my relationships today. There are times when I pull back and retreat, rather than risk being rejected all over again. As *safe* as this sounds, it’s not a healthy way to live. We are created to have relationships with others, to be encouraging and to encourage. To love and be loved.
Hiding in a box will guarantee that you won’t be rejected or hurt….but it also guarantees that you aren’t living life the way that we are called to.
I have been blessed with some amazing friends. Friends who pray for me, comfort me, laugh and giggle with me, love on me, and carry me.
Friends who have been there for me through some of the roughest times in my life.
Friends who have simply sat and held my hand.
Friends who mail cards, even though I always forget to.
Friends who understand when I want to talk but can’t.
Friends who don’t gossip.
Friends who tell me the truth, even when it’s not what I want to hear.
Today, I’m so thankful for these blessed friends. You know who you are.
What are you thankful for today?
I’m thankful for you! You are one of those friends for me, and I have been so richly blessed by your presence in my life. And now excuse me while I get all teary-eyed and need a tissue.
{{hugs}} sweet friend! Totally and completely blessed by you!
Aurie, oh how your words bless me! Yes, rejection hurts and it does cause someone to sit in the corner or stay in a box. Who are we to reject someone? Praising God he hasn’t rejected me! I can’t wait to hug you…and yes, like Lisa – I need those tissues, too!
Love you girl. He has blessed me with you and sweet words. Only 2 weeks and we can chat for real!!
Beautiful post, Aurie!
Thank you Sam.
Oh mylanta, the horror! and yet the blessing of finding kindred.
I’m thankful for YOU!!! {HUGS}!
Girl – and I thought I was the only one who said that 🙂
Thankful for you, your sweet heart and your words that inspire me every day.
Very nicely said…. I’m glad to call you my friend 🙂
Right back at you my friend!!
Oh how I can relate with your story. I’m always surprised when my childhood hurts resurface in my relationships as an adult. Our peers really do help shape the person we become.
Yes, they do. One more reason why I’m so thankful that we are homeschooling and teaching our girls that words matter and hurt. But, those words and actions shaped me into who I am today, which is exactly where He wants me!
I am also thankful for friends. I had a group of girls in Jr. High who played those games with me. It was 3 years of emotional turmoil that I can remember very plainly and painfully.
{{hugs}} I hate that I still feel that sting, can still see those jeers. I’m thankful for Him, who knows all about rejection and stinging and jeers – and that He carries that for us if we just hand it off. It’s taken me a long time to be able to let those feeling go.
Surrounding myself with friends who He brought into my life have made all the difference!
What a great tribute to your friends. We all need these people in our life. 🙂
Yes, these God friends are blessings, indeed!!
Oh, what an awful thing to experience. Kids can be so mean. Thankful you have found some true friends.
Believe me, I am as well 🙂
Great post Aurie! Thanks for your honesty and transparency!
Thanks Beth! Hoping that my story will encourage someone else!!
Great post Aurie…thanks for your transparency. I totally relate…rejection is something I’ve dealt with since I was a young girl. Over time I have had to realize and acknowledge those wounded places to help me heal and to grow. It’s never easy and of course things flare up and sometimes cause me hide under that label again. I’m so thankful for a God who uses every experience in our lives to help shape us and refine us. The enemy always means those experiences for our harm but God has a miraculous way of using those experiences and brings about healing not only for us but to help bring hope and healing to others.
Grateful and praising Him along with you! Isn’t it awesome to know that we are constantly in His care!